Hausfrau in the Holler

Things were stirring this weekend in our sleepy Southern town. A fresh wind blew in from Europe bringing with it our favorite Hausfrau straight from Zurich. While nutty Jeff was busying kayaking from See to See in Switzerland (see is German for lake), Becky slipped away for a US visit.

While living in Switzerland has its perks, once a Southerner always a Southerner. The hills of North Georgia hold a special place in Becky's heart. Anxious to get in as much gap riding as possible, she twisted my arm to join her on Friday for "training camp". Their title of Hillseekers is aptly named.

If you do not like climbing, I do not suggest you ever venture off with either of the two. However, if you like fun and adventure with a side dish of hard effort, they are just the folks for you. Take it from the horse's mouth, you will not be disappointed when you go on a ride with Becky.

Starting from the Ranch, we headed out on the beautiful backroads in the North Georgia Mountains. Our plan was to work our way over to Unicoi for the long climb up towards Jacks.

Fortunately, Don and Paul signed up for Camp too, and I was not the only one along to chase Swiss Miss through the twisty roads.

While Becky is captivated by the challenging climbs, my simple mind is preoccupied with the signage, or rather, the quaint names one finds in North Georgia. In case we were to get confused for a second and think we were in Spain or Tuscany, someone graciously had the foresight to let us know in what country we are cycling.

I spent most of my time trying to spot all the fun names along our route. Asbestos Road, Scorpion Hollow, Never Blue Rd, Lightning Dr, and Frogtown Rd all made me giggle. I do not think I'd be giggling if I decided to camp here though. Probably more appealing to teenagers.

My quads felt like they had just been dismissed from a service at Loudsville Church, because they were screaming as we started up Unicoi. All I could think of is "how will I survive today and be able to do this again tomorrow?" Easy answer. Put it in the easiest gear you've got and make like a spinning wheel. I had been dreading this climb because the last time I did it 8 years ago was not a pleasant experience. Today's ascent was much more enjoyable and we made it to the top with little drama.

Our next climb was up the more agreeable side of Jacks. This was my favorite of the day. Paul and I spun easily and chatted while Don and Becky sprinted on ahead. There were no cars, the birds were singing, and all was right with the world.

I haven't ridden with Paul in over a year, and enjoyed our time of catching up with each other. We laughed at our bug laden arms. Southern heat and humidity is the perfect recipe to turn our bodies into fly paper, and Paul was a prime target with his 1" thick layer of sunscreen. In spite of the heat, the scenery is delightful.

Becky wanted so badly to climb up Brasstown, but again, no one was taking the bait. Having never done this, I really wanted to try, but my legs were just not in the mood. Besides, today I was climbing as gingerly as possible in an effort to save up for tomorrow. Climbing Brasstown gingerly is not possible. On we went down to our next gap, Neels. But first, a stop at everybody's favorite rest stop, Sunrise Grocery.

This place is packed with more character than a Disney theme park.

We could not keep the Hausfrau away from the hot boiled peanuts.

Mmmmm, better than bratwurst.

With our bellies full and our water bottles replenished, we headed on up Neels. Even after Neels, our ride through the vineyards was not over. Frog Gap, and Owl Gap, and every kind of animal gap you can think of was still ahead.

I was thrilled to actually ride by Frogtown Winery. With a name like Frogtown, you cannot help but be intrigued. With memories of cycling by Italian vineyards like Casaloste, Vignamaggio, and Le Capezzine, this name amuses me. I am easily amused. The name may not be Tuscan, but the scenery is pretty close.

4 1/2 hrs later, we finished our "little" ride. The Hausfrau was satisfied with 62 miles and ready for more. The rest of us were exhausted and ready for a nap! I had to get home, washed, and rejuvenated for Day 2 of Swiss Miss Gap Training Camp.

Eleven brave souls signed up for Saturday's GapFest. We are all well aware of Becky's propensity to stretch the truth a bit when it comes to describing the severity of a route, so our hidden anxiety was as thick as the humidity. Although we are all thrilled to see her, there's an unspoken reverence and awe of her scary fast calves and insatiable need for climbing. Having fully adapted to the Swiss way of riding, Becky insisted we start once again on a gravel road. Thankfully my mountain biking skills came in handy.

Off we went in pursuit of beautiful country roads and long unending climbs.

It was another gorgeous day. We were off to a fabulous start. No attacking, just enjoying the beauty around us while putting forth a little bit of effort.

I cannot remember the names of the roads, but they were delightful to the senses. Of course, little gaps were cleverly placed all along the way and the pace would get a little serious. No worries though, we regrouped at the top and carried merrily along. Mountain goat climber, Rich, enjoyed putting the hurt on us, while Becky just saw it as a challenge.

Beth got in secret training before the ride since she rode to the start from her homebase in Suches. Sid took a break from wedding plans to join the climbfest.

In between gawking at the countryside and racing up the climbs, I engaged in my favorite pastime, sign spotting. teehee, This sign cracks me up.

While I was busy snapping sign pictures, EuroPhotoNinja documented the Training Camp as well.

When we reached the turn onto 60, I knew all to well what lay ahead. The looooooooong 15 mile climb to Suches.

Becky and Jeff led a ride here 3 years ago, my first and only encounter with this climb. I distinctly remember the searing pan she inflicted as Alexis and I tried to maintain her pace. Having long since dropped the entire pack of guys, she tortured us all the way to top. It was not a pleasant kind of torture. I wanted to redeem myself today.

Becky always beams with an innocent cheerful smile on the outside, while inside she's plotting your course of destruction. Brian and Stuart know all too well about her tricky ways.

But before our trek up to Suches, we first must continue our tour of colorful Southern rest stops.

One of the highlights of a ride in Italy or Switzerland is a mid stop at a charming cafe or mountain top rifugio. Instead of sipping an espresso or snacking on strudel, in North Georgia you can chew on beef jerky and shop for a trophy head for your doublewide.

As colorful as Sunrise Grocery is, this one is downright scary. If I brought any out of town guests here, I'd make sure they walked softly and kept their mouth shut. I will answer any questions you have after we have left the premises.

We lined the gems up outside and went inside to buy whatever.

After loading up on pork rinds and moonshine, we were ready to tackle the assault on Suches.

Alpa was beginning to question her sanity at choosing to ride with this group. It was her first visit to the gaps, so I reassured her the climb could be conquered. Just sit back and enjoy the views.

This time up the climb, I noticed how beautiful it is. All I noticed last trip up was the wheel in front of me as I tried to hang on to the shredfest.

At first the climb rolls along teasing you with little drops down into the valley only to climb once again. Finally we entered the thick woods as the road twisted endless up, up, up. Brian and Rich got down to business and powered their way ahead. I tried to tune into my legs and see what was going on inside. The Dixie Gas must have been the right fuel because they felt good. Time to put a hurtin' on somebody.

Hard as I tried, I could not shake Wild Bill and Stu from my train. But they did not challenge me and we paced in silence, so surely I was inflicting some pain. I was riding without my heart rate monitor and going purely by feel. It felt good and the power band was steady. The top came sooner than expected. Wow! It's over already! Sweet revenge. I've been redeemed.

Our treat for the climb was a stop at the Suches Store. Hanging out with the other bikers, this group was turning into a bunch of lounge lizards. I had to be careful not to turn my back on Raja at this stop. He was close to making a trade of our bikes for this Aprilia SXV 550 motard. He had to be physically removed from the scene to prevent further damage.

I had to light a stick of dynamite under their rocking chairs, but we got moving again. On to climb WolfPen. Beth climbed it with us, but turned around to return to her house just a few miles back. We were down to 10.

Raja took off like a F14 down WolfPen descent. Brian never knew what happened....it was his first exposure to the flying sherpaman. Yea, my man can descend like nobody's business:-)

Rider's meeting. Some of the trainees are on a tight schedule and needed to head back to basecamp. Not me! We had yet to hit the best part of the route. We were in for the full Tour. Now we were 5. The Fab5.

This part of the ride was just over the top beautiful, and I would not have missed it for the world. We did the luscious Craig's Gap. Even though I practically walked up the climb on all fours, the suffering was a small price to pay for the joy of this road.

The next treat was Fain Branch. The acid in our legs was dulled by the serenity and peaceful views.

It was magical.

That's where I hit the motherload of signs.
I really wish we had climbed to the top. But at the time, I was met with a little resistance. Another climb for another day.

I was not going to finish this ride until we made a visit to my all time favorite holler in these parts.

Becky may be all European now, but she still has her cracking point. She was giggling like a school girl at this sign (see the pic at the top of the post).

One last gap left for the ride, Christmas Tree Gap. The Fabulous 5 rolled it in at 66 miles. I got an even 70 for the day since I did some extra climbing laps. Wow, 9 hrs riding in 2 days. I don't do that much in a week.

But enough wallerin' in glory, we had more work to be done. It was now time to hoe. The farmer that let us ride on his land was expecting some payment.

Riding in North Georgia was more work than for which I bargained! It was also more Fun than I imagined! Having the Hausfrau in the Holler was a Hoot! Cheers to the Swiss Miss!

It was a great weekend of riding in good ole North Georgia with good friends. You cannot beat this scenery.

Here's a souvenir from my stay at Camp.

Thanks, Becky, for a wonderful Training Camp! Look forward to our Swiss Alpine Camp!!

5 gaps for Speedy

Our dear friend, Speedy the Huckster, celebrated his 50th birthday this weekend! Pretty impressive considering he can ride with the energy of a 25 year old, which he proved all week during our Moab Fruita Fiesta. I have yet to see a 50 year old that can huck a bike like he can too! Whoohoo! Speedy, you're da bomb!

In honor of this auspicious occasion, I thought it would be fitting to dedicate our day of riding in the Gaps to Speeeeeeeeeedy.
We were to meet up with some of our core riding buddies for some "training" in the gaps. Actually the training was not for us, but for the poor suckers registered for the Assault on Mt. Mitchell. As if foreshadowing the pain that lay ahead for them on Mt. Mitchell, our ride today coincided with the Brasstown Bald Buster Century Challenge.We did not really plan for our route to merge with these insane cyclists, but our day just happened to unfold that way.

Starting at Turners Corner, we began climbing almost immediately on the 7 miles up Neels Gap. With all the recent torrential rains, the sound of rushing water and waterfalls could be heard much of the way up Blood Mountain. The sky was crystal clear and it was turning out to be a beautiful day.With the exception of the Caminator, no one was particularly interested in setting a blistering pace. G-off and Sweetwater were recovering from a 12 hr race so I was hoping they would ride sensibly and keep things under control.

The 2nd climb of the ride was up Jacks, which took us by the daunting entrance to Brasstown. Lots of smack talk about giving us a 30 minute headstart and still being caught, blah, blah, nobody took the bait. Do I look that stupid? I was content to take a picture and ride on by for the descent to Unicoi.

Climb #3 up Unicoi was very tame and pleasant. The real treat is the descent down Unicoi into Helen. With Rajasan leading the way, I tried my best to ride in his wake. I may be biased, but honestly, Rajasan can descend like a pro. I could tell he was not pulling out all the stops, because I was keeping him within my grasp. I know full well that I am not capable of keeping his pace when he goes all out on a downhill. Therefore, when I can still see him then I know he's just playing around. I was thankful he was in a playful mood today. If Duckman or Hillbilly had been along, I never would have seen them past the starting gate.

Trying to enjoy the short lived bliss of the descent, we all lived in denial of the task that would soon be before us.Climb 4 of the day was the real reason we had all been lollygagging up the previous 3 climbs. Ye olde Hogpen, climb of all climbs in North Georgia. Besides Brasstown, no other climb strikes fear into the heart of a cyclist more than Hogpen. It is seven miles of sheer joy.

Everytime we travel out west and people ask where we are from, we get the usual question about Georgia. Do you have any hills there or is it pretty flat?
Then they stare at you with wide disbelieving eyes as you describe the mountains of North Georgia.

In fact, when we were in Fruita last month, I was talking with a local cyclist we had just met. She looked at me with disdain when I said she should come out to Georgia and ride our beautiful trails. Why would I do that? she said with disgust dripping from her lips aghast that I would even make such a suggestion. Rather taken aback with her attitude, I did not even bother trying to crack her hardened mis-informed mind. Yea, pretty flat and ugly, isn't it?!!!!We passed by the sag stop for the Brasstown Bald Century riders only to be cheered on our way. I felt so guilty, as if I were misleading them to think I were one of the brave souls. The real century riders were easy to pick out. Besides the number plates, you could see the fatigue and pain in their riding stance.You would be in pain too after riding 85 miles before tackling Hogpen. But getting to the top only gets you closer to the real pain. After Hogpen, they had to climb Jacks up to Brasstown...a sheer wall. Horror of horrors! I did my best to encourage each rider on without sounding patronizing. When you are in such a state, there is a fine line between receiving encouragement and wanting to get off your bike and kill anyone that utters a word to you.

As I was climbing Hogpen, I heard a car coming up ringing a cowbell. It was our friend, Jim, the race director. He hollered a big Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy to me as he drove by.....thanks, Jim! I needed that encouragement just as much as the century riders. Even with only 50 miles in my legs, it was all I could do to turn over the gears.

In contrast to the searing pain ripping through my quads, patches of cheerful wildflowers dotted the side of the road providing a lovely distraction from the difficult task of climbing.
I wonder if G-off was questioning his decision to do Mt. Mitchell as he was making today's climb? Probably not. It probably made him even more determined to better his time from last year's MM.Rajasan and I are glad to have done Mt. Mitchell once and checked it off the list. I am also glad to have completed many Six Gap centuries with no plans to do anymore. Everytime I climb Hogpen, I relive all those memories. My favorite memories are the ones where I passed the guys.

The only guys I was passing today were those struggling on the century. I took no joy or pride in doing that. I pedaled by with great respect. Raja and oclvframe were doing likewise.

A nice feature of most climbs up here is that they intersect with the Appalachian Trail. If you are unfamiliar with the climbs, you begin to wonder if you are ever going to reach the top. Just when you think you are lost and climbing the road to Kilimanjaro, you see the blessed sign....the sign of the hikers. You know what that means? It means you are at the top where the Appalachian Trail is. It is my favorite sign in these here parts!Even though the Caminator vanishes from sight before we ever start a climb, I am always happy to have him along on a ride. Unlike most shredders that I have been subjected to over the past 20 years, Cam never tires of riding with us slower boring cyclists. Perhaps he has nothing to prove and feels sorry for us. Whatever the reason, it's nice to know he's on my side. As we descended down Hogpen, I squealed with delight as we flew by large fields of wildflowers that painted the perfect picture. However, at 47 mph, I could not justify stopping to capture the moment with my camera. It would have to be stored on my personal hard drive in my head.

Raja and Cam were leading the way down Hogpen as I tried to focus on them and not on my fear of the speed. When I saw 47 on my cyclometer though, I decided that was fast enough for me! That evening I asked Raja what the fastest he's ever been down Hogpen. 57mph! When was that, I asked!? It was the first year we ever did Six Gap Century, whenever that was. Shew, I'm glad I didn't know that until now.

Once at the bottom of Hogpen, we made a left turn back towards Blood Mtn. I felt so sorry for the hearty Century riders that would have to make a right turn to climb up Jacks and Brasstown. Our torture was behind us, and all we had left was a manageable climb up the backside of Neels. But first I had an important mission to complete! Hey Becky, this pic's for you!!My favorite sign, besides the hiker signs at the top of the climbs, it's Booger Hollow! I had to get an official picture of this sign. Next time we ride up here, we need to do Booger Holler and Craigs Gap again. One of the best kept secrets in North Georgia!

We made a stop at one my favorite road stops before climb #5. Come to think of it, I have alot of favorites on this route, don't I?! That is the beauty and charm of the South, all the fun, odd, colorful out of the way places. Whether it's Booger Hollow, Hogpen, or Sunrise Grocery, you cannot help but smile when you say these names and experience Southern style. Where else can you refill your water bottle for your bike ride, buy a statuette for your yard and some fresh fruit from the farm while you chew the fat with the locals?What a delightful stop this is, with hanging baskets spilling over with flowers and smoke billowing from boiled peanuts.There is every walk of life found at this store. From cyclists with shaved legs, Harley Bike Riders, country boys buying crickets for fishing, and tourists on an afternoon drive, we all get along just fine. Miss UpTight from Fruita would not fit in here. Maybe she needs a big ole bag of boiled peanuts to cure what ails her.Boiled peanuts would not help me today to get over the last climb though. Raja and I put it in our lowest gear and spun as lightly as we could without falling over. My quads and gluts had been maxed out, and all I needed now was to ease this train back to the station. We had one more rip roaring descent waiting for us at the top. That was all the motivation I needed. Normally we never come down this descent, so it was a real treat today. Seven miles of good tight turns, they were perfect for me. Raja says it's not fast enough for him, but it was all I could handle.

It was a great day in the saddle, a hard one, but a good kind of hard! 68 miles with 7500' of climbing, I earned a bite of our hoarded Italian chocolate stored away for just an occasion. If I was a true friend, I would have shared some chocolate with Speedy for his birthday. Instead I dedicated a climb for every decade...how cheesy is that!?

Happy Birthday, Speedy!!! Here's to many more decades of health and happiness!!!